Monday, January 29, 2007

Knowing Gifts

This isn't my typical post but, like Milly, I write fiction from time to time and these were the two scriptures that sparked me to write this below. I was preparing to speek at our couples group on giving and thought that this story summed up a lot of things:

Luke 9:28-36 (NIV)
28 About eight days after Jesus said this, he took Peter, John and James with him and went up onto a mountain to pray.
29 As he was praying, the appearance of his face changed, and his clothes became as bright as a flash of lightning.
30 Two men, Moses and Elijah,
31 appeared in glorious splendor, talking with Jesus. They spoke about his departure, which he was about to bring to fulfillment at Jerusalem.
32 Peter and his companions were very sleepy, but when they became fully awake, they saw his glory and the two men standing with him.
33 As the men were leaving Jesus, Peter said to him, "Master, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah." (He did not know what he was saying.)
34 While he was speaking, a cloud appeared and enveloped them, and they were afraid as they entered the cloud.
35 A voice came from the cloud, saying, "This is my Son, whom I have chosen; listen to him."
36 When the voice had spoken, they found that Jesus was alone. The disciples kept this to themselves, and told no one at that time what they had seen.


Genesis 4:2-5 (NIV)

2 Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil.
3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD.
4 But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering,
5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

o-=-=-=-o

A young boy wanted to surprise his mother for mother’s day. So he picked up his piggy-bank, counted the money and he went to a little general store about a block from their house. After looking up and down the aisles of that store, the little boy finally found the perfect gift for her. It was a gift that was something that he had personally eyed many times and he was certain that his mother would love it too. As the old man behind the counter peered over to see the young customer he began to scowl: “You're not buying that are you?”

“I am sir”, Tommy took a deep breath and gleamed with pride.

“Well what are you going to do with it?”

“It’s for my mom!” Tommy thought it was an odd question and the clerk's facial gesture was equally perplexing.

“Oh…. Very well then. That will be $8.73 cents.”

Tommy looked down at his hard earned allowance money. He knew that this would pretty much wipe him out financially. He then thought about all of the great things his mom had done for him and how surprised she was going to be. That zeal carried him to make the purchase, as well as a candy bar for the trip home.

The clerk carefully bagged the gift and gave Tommy a once-over glance. “Make sure that she gets this!” His look was pretty intense. Enough for Tommy to stutter and look away when he replied.

“You bet sir! I know she will love it.”

He couldn’t wait to get home and wrap the present. His bike wouldn't go fast enough. He arrived home to see that his mom was gone and only his dad was in the house. Blasting through the front door, Tommy made his way up to his bedroom. He stopped by the craft room to get scissors, tape, and paper.

His dad heard the ruckus, and walked over to Tommy’s room: ‘What’s the noise about?’

“Oh hey dad! I just went up to the store and got mom her Mother’s day gift.”

“Oh! That’s great son. What did you get her!”

Tommy hesitated, he knew that his dad couldn't keep a secret from his mom so he chimed up: “Well… I can’t tell you that or it wouldn’t be a surprise! Besides, I can’t wait for mom to open this! She is going to love it!”

“Umm, yes that's true son. Well?! Carry on! I’ll leave you to your wrapping!”

Tommy had never wrapped a gift before and it turns out that it was quite a challenge. After laboring for over two hours , he finally got the paper ‘just right’: a gift made primarily of crumpled and ripped paper and a lot of tape. Tommy was proud of his first try and the gift was completely wrapped.

He also made a card and drew some great pictures of him and her on it. It was corny, but his mom liked that sort of thing.

Tommy's father was so proud of his boy that in bed that night, he shared the ‘surprise’ with his wife. She too was tickled at what a loving thoughtful boy they had raised.

Mother’s day finally came and it was off to church but all Tommy could think about was giving his mother that gift. He and his dad woke up early that morning and made her a breakfast fit for a queen. Apart from burning the toast 2 times, it was a pretty good meal for a couple of fumbling guys. The family agreed to open gifts after church because they were running so late. The mess in the kitchen would also have to wait until after church.

As they exited church, after a surprisingly long service, Tommy ran to their mini-van and hopped in the back. He was so anxious to get home and have her open the gift. I can’t wait to see her face she is going to be SO happy! His parent proudly gazed at each other: it was that look of acknowledging what a winner of a kid that they were blessed with.

The church was only 3 miles from their house so it was a very short ride. Everybody unloaded from the van and headed for the house. Tommy waited at the door for his father to open it, while mom and dad got the stroller and unpacked the twins from their safety seats. Finally, they moved inside and headed right to the family room for mom to open gifts. Both mom and dad were brimming with pride for their boy.

Dad offered his pocket knife to help cut through the layers of tape on the gift. It was like a mummy made of celephane. Make no mistake, Tommy's mom was indeed surprised as she tore away the carefully wrapped paper to reveal the ‘treasure’ that lurked inside: a Tom Sawyer handcrafted wrist rocket / slingshot. Tommy knew that his mother would love it because who wouldn’t?

To this day, the slingshot sits on the mantle above the fireplace. A gentle reminder that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.

o-=-=-=-o

If you have a close friend, spouse, or sibling and you made a list of three material things that they wanted, and you had them list three material things that they wanted. How close would those lists actually be?

If our desire is to give them the things that they want, we need to get a good grasp on the person: who they are, how they tick, their likes and dislikes. Knowing this can information, we can give them what they TRULY want, not what we think that they want.

How can we find out what their needs our?

Communication: Talk about goals, aspiration, likes and dislikes, and projects.

Observation: Watch what they do and like. Learn their MO so to speak

Spend Time: By spending time we get more into their thought processes

Feedback: Learn from mistakes.

Take Yourself Out: Think of them, not of what you will get or what you like… don’t buy them the gift you always wanted

Prayer: Seek God individually to assure that you are on the right track.

Take It Easy: Knowing their needs will save you time and frustration

By giving things that we think that they want rather than what hey really want, aren't we sending a message to them: that they are possibly just items on the checklist? Going through the trouble of truly figuring out what they REALLY want takes time and effort, but it does pay great dividends. First off, it actually makes the act of giving easier. Many times the perfect gift, or offering is much easier to obtain than throwing time, money, and other resources at the problem, especially at the last minute.

Now apply this to your walk with the Lord: what do we lay at the altar before God that we think He wants? I'm reminded of the scripture that says 'But we did these things in your name', and God replies 'Depart from me you workers of iniquity! I never knew you!'. That scripture is haunting to me: it's a warning that we need to know God, and in doing so, we will be able to 'give' Him what is good and appropriate.

Like Tommy though, nothing compares with a giving heart. You see, Tommy wanted to give his mom the very best of gifts. I know that is my heart too

God Bless
Doug

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10 Comments:

Blogger kc bob said...

I liked the story Doug. I really conveys a lot about the gifts that we give. It explains why it is so hard to find the right present for people, even ones close to us. I was out shopping with my wife a few months ago when she was looking for a purse. I found several that I KNEW she would like ... she didn't like any of them and really could tell me why. Communication is such an art form ... seems we can really connect on some things but not on other things like gifts. Wonder why that is?

Blessings, Bob

Mon Jan 29, 03:51:00 PM  
Blogger Kevin Knox said...

You packed a LOT into this one, brother. Very cool. Thank you. :-)

Mon Jan 29, 10:58:00 PM  
Blogger pearlie said...

I love the story Doug and the few lessons behind it. I have said this before - you are a very good storyteller :)

I may be wrong but it could be easier to know what God wants rather than what our spouse wants! But I think my husband would love a brand new car.

Tue Jan 30, 11:02:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good story bro.

Bob a woman’s purse is a very important piece of equipment just as you would spend time trying to decide DeWalt or Milwaukee and wonder if what the say about Bosch is true so goes it with our purses.

Tue Jan 30, 01:53:00 PM  
Blogger DougALug said...

Hello All,

My wife and I have fled the hustle and bustle of life and are celebrating our 10th up in the mountains outside of Pittsburgh. Sorry I haven't gotten back to anyone. I will reply on Monday, when I am back into the grind.

God Bless
Doug

Fri Feb 02, 02:06:00 PM  
Blogger DougALug said...

KB,

Okay, I'm back.

Ahhh, getting the wife gifts. You are so right about communication. Once my wife was telling me that she wanted to lose some weight so she wanted to work out some more. I went out and bought her some rugged clothes that would suit the type of walking that she wanted to do. She was not overly pleased with them: she thought I was trying to send her a message. Other than I love you and want to help you with your goals, there was nothing.

The lesson I learned was that it is not just enough to know what she wants or needs. You also have to consider the message that your gift tells your mate. We went back and returned those clothes and she got two nice dresses in its place.

God Bless
Doug

Mon Feb 05, 12:34:00 PM  
Blogger DougALug said...

Pearlie,

It is true that God is pretty clear on what is required of us. Also God doesn't play games like we humans tend to do.

I guess in that sense you are right. Still, understanding the context and heart for both your spouse and God requires a relationship, ripe with two-way communication.

God Bless
Doug

P.S. I think my wife would like a new car too.

Mon Feb 05, 12:38:00 PM  
Blogger DougALug said...

Milly,

Amen on the purse thing. It is the difference between being an observer versus an actual user of the things.

God Bless
Doug

Mon Feb 05, 12:40:00 PM  
Blogger pearlie said...

I hope you have been and are keeping well. Been praying for you (plural :)

God bless!

Mon Feb 12, 11:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good post.

Tue Nov 11, 10:45:00 PM  

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