Childish Things

It was a normal day, like any other one, in the middle of winter. The skies were clear, blue and cold was the principal component of these northern, Midwest mornings. Outside, the ground was covered with the fresh white snow of the midnight blizzard that preceded it. In the distance the sound of the snow plow coming to clear the streets could be heard. This is where the bright hopes of young children could be made or vanquished. I can remember staring out the window of my room and praying things like 'Please God, let this snow be high enough to cancel school!'

I kept a yardstick in my room to measure the snow and before the sun had risen, I would run out in my underwear in twenty below weather to see if I would have to go to school that day. I would then go in, grab a cereal bowl, milk, and cocoa puffs, and sit by the television set, waiting to see if my school would be on the list that would be closed for the day. There was some sort of triumphant joy in having school canceled. It was as close to heaven as any kid could ask for: hours of sledding, snowball fights, hot chocolate, ice forts, catching rides on people bumpers, and endless colds ensued.

I wonder if we ever really do grow up, or do we just get older? Living in Florida, there are no more blizzards to blame, but hurricanes and tropical depressions have, on occasion, forced me to be absent from work for a couple of days. I still like cool 'gadgets' that whirr and buzz, but their price tags are a little more than the M-80's, Sling Shots, and balsa planes of my youth.

When I wake up, my hair still sticks every way except where it should be. I still insist that my underwear is just fine, though it may have more holes in it than a block of Swiss cheese. Doctors and shots are still big menaces to me as well!

Every opportunity I get, I try to by my friend's children Legos so that "I can help them learn how to use them”: “Hey kid! Give me that slanted roof panel for my cool spaceship! What do you mean 'I'm hogging all the pieces?! And 'grow up'? I’m the adult here!” One big difference is that I pay for all this cool stuff myself!

Sometimes I wonder about my Christianity in much the same way. I feel like I am still battling the same problems that I have always had, since when I considered myself a 'baby Christian'. My vocabulary has improved, my head knowledge of the problem has also increased, but the fact is that these challenging areas still face me daily. Sometimes I want to scream and hide from them, but when I poke my head up, they are still there and usually they have brought friends.

God has called us to mature in Him and He has provided a sound playbook for doing just this. Does this mean we are going to have to face some issues that are going to humble and aggravate us? Absolutely! There is always a price to pay for growth, but remember that God is always standing there to nurture this process. Growth doesn't always imply that problems are going to go away either. Remember Paul's thorn in his flesh and God telling him that 'My grace is sufficient for you!' Conflicts will come and go, but God never leaves. In a way He is your worst nightmare as a parent: there is nothing you can hide from the Guy! He is omnipotent and omniscient. On the other hand, through Christ, He has opened a door that gives us freedom from the sin and sorrow of our existence. God's love for us is immeasurable.

And thus, the ultimate growth in Christ is to do the following things: accept fault for sin; repent of sin; ask for cleansing through the blood of Jesus Christ; and praise the Lord for His mercies. Growth is really being able to recognize our error, fessing-up to them, and humbly approaching the thrown. It is this and only this that will separate the men from the boys.

I still have a lot of growing to do, and I still look for ways to procrastinate my way though some of that growth. Whether I like it or not, God is going to complete His work in me. And while I'm still maturing though, I hope I can not lose sight of where I have been. God loves children, and even commands us to come as little children, trusting solely in His words and commandments. And thus, the child that dwells in me must coexist with the adult that I have become. These two forces oppose each other at every turn, but God acts as the go-between, smoothing temperaments and mending fences. And now, as an adult, I still hope and pray that the snow is deep enough to let school out, not for me, but for the child that I was and keep deep inside.

-Doug